The Subway diet. The cabbage soup diet. The junk food diet. From Atkins to the Zone, there is an array of diets to help people slim down. Have you heard of the masturbation diet? You know, the one in which you drop pounds by playing with yourself furiously(new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c&cid=872d12ce-453b-4870-845f-955919887e1b'; cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c" }).render("79703296e5134c75a2db6e1b64762017"); }); According to Nikkan Spa, a 28 year-old with the alias “Yuichi Ito” was able to lose nearly 9 pounds in two months, simply through watching his diet and flogging his log between three and five times a day. (Supposedly, Ito’s record was seven times in a single day.) While in high school, Ito played baseball, but gained weight after he graduated. The 5 foot 5 inch Ito ballooned to 167 pounds, which would be considered overweight by Japanese standards. Ito decided that a good way to drop the excess pounds was to cut calories and have more sex. With himself. “I read online that pleasuring oneself was the same as running 200 meters,” said Ito. “Without a girlfriend, the only way I could become thin was through masturbation!” (Well, he could’ve taken up walking, jogging, swimming, or even played Wii Fit or Dance Dance Revolution. But Ito chose to play with his magic wand, so whatever!) https://kotaku.com/woman-loses-112-lbs-thanks-wii-fit-5460810 Nikkan Spa, a men’s publication with rather salacious content, also featured other unusual diets in its latest issue, such rummy best as a “karaoke diet”, a junk food diet, and a diet centered around the Korean alcoholic beverage makgeolli. None of the diets, including the fapping one, seem widespread in Japan, so don’t assume that rummy golds they are. They’re not! Interestingly, Nikkan Spa had a doctor chime in as to whether or not each diet was healthy. Drinking makgeolli to lose weight wasn’t recommended—neither was the snack food diet. The karaoke diet, however, got much higher marks. What about the masturbation diet? “The issue with the effectiveness of this diet is that while you are exhausting your body, you are not consuming calories by using physical strength,” said Satoshi Yoshijima, a dermatologist and doctor of internal medicine in Tokyo. Dr. Yoshijima also added that excess self-stimulation can adversely impact hormone levels. Besides, who wants to risk going blind or hairy palms, just to drop nine pounds? Not worth it! オナニーダイエットで4kg減！に医者も苦笑 [Nikkan Spa] Photo: sunabesyou | Shutterstock To contact the author of this post, write to bashcraftATkotaku.com or find him on Twitter @Brian_Ashcraft Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, rummy mars Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.